3 Reasons You Feel Guilty Decluttering

And how to let go.

Photo Credit: Unsplash, Ayla Verschueren

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A clutter-free space offers so many proven benefits, like physical, mental, and emotional well-being. 

After embracing a minimalist lifestyle for the last 10 years, I’ve been using my skills and wisdom to work as a professional home organizer. I’ve noticed many clients resist letting go and have varying attachments to their items. Guilt can get in the way of creating a joyful, peaceful, and more aligned home. 

In this post, I’ll address the three main reasons we experience guilt and how to move forward. 

First, you’re decluttering and organizing your home for a reason. The clutter in your space increases stress, especially for women, according to Sage Journals research. So when you focus on your decluttering journey, it helps to remember why you started. Also, noticing how you feel during and after your process can increase motivation. 

So, feeling guilty is not a good reason to keep items in your home. That negative feeling lingers in your mental and emotional space. Excess clutter damages your well-being. Specifically, clutter can decrease your quality of sleep, relationship health, productivity, parenting skills, and quality of life, to name a few things. 

Creating more harmony, ease, and spaciousness in your home is a beautiful, tactile, and rewarding way to feel better and more fulfilled daily. I want that for you. So, let’s dive in. 

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1. Navigating sentimental value

Emotionally-weighted items may be the most difficult to release, depending on who you are. Maybe you received a gift from someone you love, own items that belonged to someone who died, or keep rare, irreplaceable objects. 

Letting go can be really hard. Here are some ways to move forward. 

First, you deserve a spacious home that supports who you are right now. You don’t have to tiptoe around other’s feelings in your own home. You get to create a space that serves you.  

So gifts are a great example of the emotional attachment we have towards items. People tell me stories about who gave them something, maybe an ex-partner, a family member, or an old friend. The object seems to capture a moment in time or an interesting memory. 

If it no longer serves you, taking a photo of the item is a simple option. Digital photos take up way less space and create more ease in the letting-go process. 

If the gift giver is still in your life, it may be worth having a conversation about the types of gifts you do and don’t want to receive. Though it may feel challenging, you’ll both benefit from that clarity. You could ask for clutter-free gifts. Or, you could share specific ideas about the things you do want in your life. Maybe, you even ask the person to include a gift receipt. 

Navigating the death of a loved one may be especially challenging. It’s always okay to use a “pending box” if you’re feeling stuck. I like to mark the date so I know how long it’s been out of use. Consider that your feelings are more connected to the person rather than the object. If the object isn’t bringing joy in one way or another, pass it along thoughtfully. 

For rare items, all of the above works too. Really, if an item doesn’t fit who you are now and doesn’t support who you are becoming, it’s not adding value. Clutter weighs you down. So, do something kind for yourself (and everyone else) and release what no longer serves you. 

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2. Releasing expensive items

Sometimes, we feel guilty or frustrated with ourselves for having spent money on items we didn’t end up using or liking as much as we had hoped. I sense that tangible heaviness around pricey clothes that just don’t fit or feel right for whatever reason. 

I’ve definitely felt that way. Sometimes, if the item is in good condition, you can resell it at a decent price. That’s one of the many benefits of living a minimalist lifestyle. Your items don’t waste away in storage. Instead, you catch what isn’t being used sooner and can more easily resell it.

I had that experience with a weighted keyboard setup and an acoustic guitar. After a few years of songwriting, I fell in love with the ukulele. Gradually the other instruments in my space felt heavy. I felt guilty that I wasn’t playing them more often. When the guilt outweighed potential joy, I decided to pass them forward and made more than half of what I spent in return.

Additionally, both times the passing along felt really lovely. I got to play a sweet role in someone else’s musical journey. I experienced an interesting connection, and rather than gathering dust in my home (or guilt), the instruments brought joy and value to someone else.  

As you’re decluttering, consider that guilt over expensive purchases is simply energy, and you can use that energy to motivate new behaviors and habits. 

Maybe, those feelings inspire you to bring more mindfulness to your shopping habits. Since every item takes up space, raise your standards for what you bring into your home. 

Also, once you realize how many items you need for each category, you can use the “one in, one out” rule. If you already have 15 dresses and are considering a new dress purchase, think about your least favorite dress and maybe pass that one along. 

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3. Letting go of future worries

So I often approach decluttering from a very spiritual place. Letting go of what no longer serves me and relying on my resourcefulness to feel secure is a practice of trust. I trust that I will always have everything I need when I need it, and I always have. 

More practically, when you pass your unwanted, unused, or less joyful items back into the Universe, someone else can use and enjoy them. I’ve witnessed many, many times when I put items out for free, someone smiles as they decide to welcome that possession into their life. 

Things like plant pots, old yoga mats, a foam roller, clothes, jewelry, stationary, or whatever, I’ve set outside my front porch. (I’m lucky enough to have a good spot in the city for this.) It’s just a really beautiful thing to witness. My unused items now bring joy to someone else. 

Before doing professional home services, I collaborated with a housemate to help them clear their clutter. This “putting items back into the Universe” perspective brought them joy as well. My housemate started repeating the sentiment back to me with excitement: “I’m passing this item back into the Universe. Someone else can enjoy it now.” 

As you go deeper into your decluttering and tidying journey, you’ll experience more creativity in how to meet different needs. For example, Marie Kondo talks about throwing out a hammer she didn’t love and using a pan to get nails into the wall. She also used headphones on high volume to replace a speaker she didn’t love. 

I’m constantly exploring ways to get around the city without a car, for example. I haven’t owned a car for over seven years now. I love it so much. Even though various challenges come up, the joy of walking, biking, or exploring creative transport options far outweighs these challenges. Plus, I get so much built-in exercise without even trying. How cool!

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Remember, all the items in your home take up some amount of your energy, especially if you have unresolved thoughts or feelings about them. For example, whenever I’ve let go of items in storage (a place I don’t visit often), I still feel a tangible additional spaciousness. Like some puzzle somewhere in the back of my mind has cleared up. 

Choosing to live a minimalist lifestyle gives you more energy. Years ago, I read Joshua Becker’s writing; he talked about all the garage upkeep work he used to do on weekends. Rather than rest, Saturdays were a personal work day.

That visual of freeing up time and space to do things that feel aligned really motivated me. I don’t want to spend my free time cleaning or caring for items that aren’t really bringing me joy. For example, I love wearing sweaters. I’ve noticed if the quality isn’t as great, the material starts to bead. Then, I bought a fabric shaver to care for them. 

I put a lot of thought into that purchase because spending more money to care for items I own feels like a lot of work for things. Plus, it takes time to sit down and do sweater upkeep. For two or three favorite sweaters, that’s okay. The situation has already brought more mindfulness to my sweater ownership.  

Every item you own takes up more space than you realize. People really understand this concept when they move and do their packing and unpacking, another area I’ve been specializing in. 

So if you still feel guilty about items you acquired or spent too much on, I hope you feel motivated to reduce stress and increase your energy by letting go. 

Happy decluttering! I’d love to hear how your projects are going 🙂 

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