I don’t do bootcamp-style work like the TV shows.
For many different reasons, decluttering and organizing can be very challenging. Maybe the process feels boring, so you don’t do it, and things end up in an amorphous blob of a pile. Big life transitions can additionally discourage and overwhelm. Perhaps you’ve had devastating losses, and the clutter masks unprocessed grief.
Whatever your unique reasons are, diving into your mess can easily become a scary and overwhelming chore. Many people get motivated to address the chaos, but they don’t know how to break the task into small, strategic chunks and end up more overwhelmed than before.
Several clients have expressed concerns about the high-intensity organizing processes they’ve seen on TV shows or the rigid systems they’ve felt from other organizers–presumably not trauma-informed organizers.
For example, Marie Kondo suggests doing the decluttering and organizing all in one go with five to six-hour focus sessions. While I am a huge fan of Kondo’s work, approaches, and positive impact on people, one size really does not fit all. I find going at a more personalized pace works much better for lasting results.
So how do you navigate when there’s strong resistance to addressing specific areas?
Take the easy, gentle route. Start small. Find high-impact, easy wins. Do whatever will help you stay motivated and build momentum. Hire a professional home organizer like me. As I work with clients in the San Francisco Bay Area, I always prioritize safety, comfort, and trust in the process. If you feel anxious or on edge, it’s really tough to make meaningful progress.
With home organizing and decluttering, it feels like addressing your unconscious. You’ll find buried metaphorical gems and skeletons. Many people have found forgotten cash, beautiful jewelry, favorite clothes, or beloved photos. You’ll also find embarrassing or uncomfortable items and feelings you didn’t want to deal with.
Clearing clutter can often feel shameful, and that process is far more effective with gentleness, encouragement, and a safe space.
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Conscious pacing leads to sustainability.
The more I work with neurodiverse clients and those who have other special needs, the more value I see in accessibility practices. In some more unique sessions, I’ve spent most of the hands-on time in silence, holding space and attention for the unfolding process. It’s often an intuitive choice because I sense that what some people need the most is an affirming, supportive witness.
I’m also supporting clients to set priorities and work with their current energy levels. Together, we create a plan for how to use our collaborative session time.
Sometimes in the slowest, quietest moments, the most seems to get done. Maybe a big, scary decision gets made, or an ugly emotional fog lifts enough to see the challenge with more clarity.
The organizing process can also fly by very quickly with lots of movement, decisions, and visible, aligned results. That journey seems to happen far more easily when clients feel relaxed, safe, and focused. Often, a few sessions into a working relationship, I sense the trust we’ve built, and the process grows even easier.
Alternatively, when people race through organizing without more presence and attunement, they can easily make costly or unsafe choices. For example, purchasing unneeded items, losing important things, or leaving sharp items in precarious places.
Working at a conscious, attuned pace makes all the difference for creating more sustainable organizing systems. You’ll more easily understand what to release and why, and discover personal insights that make the rest of the process clearer.
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Go deeper with accepting, safe space holding.
If you’re worried about feeling judged by your organizer or support person, you’re unlikely to address the deeper, scarier issues. You’ll probably avoid areas of high uncertainty or just not get as much done.
When you really feel safe, you can dig way in the back of the closet to clear those bins from 10 years ago. You’ll feel more excited and curious to test out new solutions. You’ll ask questions that might feel uncomfortable.
When our nervous systems relax, we can look at the embarrassing stuff we’ve stashed away and feel supported to explore. I can usually sense when someone reaches their calm. We’ll move from slow, cautious, surface-level questions to the organizing challenges they feel most overwhelmed by.
Regardless of what’s in those stuffed-away boxes, clients feel more open to clearing clutter with deeper levels of acceptance.
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An attuned organizer catalyzes your progress.
Working with a deeply attuned organizer creates more efficient and effective results. Taking a few minutes to land, assess where you’re at, and set mindful session priorities makes all the difference for a highly impactful decluttering session.
Clients often explain that they could not or would not have done this process on their own, or if they could, it would take them years instead of a few weeks.
“This project seems impossible and very overwhelming,” but after a few sessions, it transforms into “it feels manageable and possible now.” Clients often enjoy sessions and acquire numerous skills and valuable insights that address root causes and propel sustainable results.
Finally, their space feels more like home and better reflects their current values and interests. After we clear surfaces, people feel ready to decorate. Piece by piece, the place grows more beautiful and aligned.
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If you’re at all considering working with a professional home organizer, I hope I’ve motivated you to take your next best step!
If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area and resonate with my content, I’d love to hear from you. If you’re ready to feel lighter and more at peace in your space, feel free to book your free intro call. We’ll talk about your space, what feels stuck, and what kind of support might be most helpful for you.
For now, take care and happy clearing!
Photo Credit: Unsplash, Andrej Lisakov